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What's friendship? I mean Did someone find the true best friend? To have trust in and talk about everything with?
I wish i find my real best friend ... =/ i believed i got the real but i was wrong. In my mind, when we were fighting between the both of us, everytime we have fought, I was thinking it was my fault. But sometime, it wasn't. I said: no, get out of my life and leave me, i don't want to talk to you again, though i came back to her. Again again and again. Always used.
Since she's gone in California (like i did before her) i decided to stop talking to her. That once is the good: i told myself.
Yes it's the good one, cause today she guessed she was using me and now she just needn't me. Okaayyy.
Well, and now?I lost my real friends. And why 'im still talking with wrong people? Idk, i hate being all alone. Can't live without persons around me for talking, laughing, hugging, crying with. that post is a REAL SHIT . ALALALALA (:
- Location:in the desk room
- Mood:
complacent - Music:look at the youtube link
OKayyy I guess i love Coffee. Whatever i haven't been bored for a long time, however right now i'm boreeeed. That's why I'm still up at 1:12am and i think the redbull i just drunk 10 minutes ago keeps me awake. Why people couldn't be nocturnal like i am? could be super.
I'm in Paris, Plaza in Avenue Montaigne ( in Paris ), i was supposed to be in Porquerolles Island and see my sister Aurore tomorrow, do shopping with her and have fun, but as you have understood, ALL IS CANCELED. Because of the job of my dad ( an emergency in paris) took the train from Toulon to Paris and now my holidays are catastrophic. Today is a damn day. ce n'est pas comme si je disais tout le temps MERDE. si?
- Location:Plaza Athenee Hotel
- Mood:
bored - Music:none
I'm finally in holidays after one week of works at the university with my sister,
however that week was pretty good because teachers were quite cool with
us. THANKS (=Today i got some good news but they made me stressed bc i thought they was gonna be bad
but as everything can change at least. I went with my dad at that
rendez vous at my school. The provisor wants me to stay here next year
... at the moment i heard this sentence i fell in a big dump. No way. I
said i won't talk anymore to Kate and her friends. They hurt me. How
can i do? I don't noe yet.
Then, Monday i'm going to Porquerolles island for
5 days. it's in the south of France not so far from Aurore . So it
means that i can meet her! will be so cool! Holidays between sisters on
a tropical island! I'm such forward about next week!
noe whut? My twin sleeps at
home tomorrow! I'm so happy! I haven't see her since Christmas! I hella
missed her. We 'll go to the Oscar's together : drink some alcohol
after sing all the night with friends and people!
In August, i'm coming to
Los Altos alone! okay for 5 days but isn't it amazing? you know is it.
I'm not sure that i could go to SF because i can't drive yet so i have
anyone for driving me until SF ... I should stop be sad about that
because a lot of people can't go to California 2 times in a year.
BE
HONEST!
Sorry about my fucking LJ layout, it's freaking out
but i'm waiting for Feerie who's supposed to help me tomorrow for
making it better.
good night. I'm tired and i think imma sleepover!
- Location:bedd
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:lisa loeb - stay
alalalala, we are soon in vacation and i feel like i'm not ready to let my school down. I wanna change but in my mind this all my world which gonna dispear if i change. My world, my little society, between us it's special. I can't forget that i'm almost borned in there. We all.
I'm crazy insane, i can spend my next year in US, where i want, i could live in San Francisco for 1 year, this is my dream! But i have my horse ... who could take care of him? dunno, why i have to wait and see?
Thursday this is our party, i got my invitation that morning, we were supposed to be deguise but now we have to wear a dress. If I have knew before, i would buy the Hello Kitty dress or Lolita Lempika dress! -__-"
My accent in english starts to be great! HOPEFUL it gonna be better again!
- Location:in my bed
- Mood: good
- Music:michelle branch
so yeah nothing much than last time but i wanna write some little notes so let's go !!
I'm watching pictures of my friends and people i knew, old pictures specially. duuuude, when i look at them, i wonder " how i could be friend with that?!?" duude that's true, some of them are such ugly, i can't understand how i did for being friends with them. I know, people change with years but i'm so surprised, I'm still like " omfg, omfg, i can't believe! " in exemple, I look at J. pictures, and ... yeah she has really changed, though in her old pictures, i can see who she's, not what she wants to be, and that makes me smile.
OH YEAH OH YEAH! i'm so excited about next thursday, this's Notre de la Tilloye's party! We have to chose a character stars by a N or a D or a T like NDT( Notre Dame de la Tilloye) and last yesterday with my friend, i choose Daisy duck. So imma buy some clothes but i dunno what?
. a pink short? i don't noe yet!
WTH with the weather!?! it's rainning a lot, storm and all, i swear! so i don't think i could go to Paris tomorrow, i have to take the train alone, the underground alone til Feerie's. So dunno, i'll wait and see!
- Location:in my bed
- Mood:
embarrassed - Music:simple plan
DUH LOL I'm happy! Everything look so great and nice!
you know wut? The weather is still hot and sunny! Weird, hahaha i really <3 France, even if in my heart i need San Francisco with "hey guys, ow are you?" when i get in Hollister or abercrombie stores or in a restaurant! AWWWW :)
Yesterday spend my day with Thomas and Gautier, they 're so cool! We had so fun, and they're like my two brothers. really bestfriends.
My twin has found her boyfriend! Bastien well a name of shit but she's happy, and i'm happy for her. I really love her like my own sista, my twin for ever. I finally found my twin with who i could talk about everything <3
I AM TOTALLY HAPPY
tomorrow, a long day!
BISOUS YAY HAPPINESS' THERE!
- Location:in the garden
- Mood:
excited - Music:amerie - gotta work
I hate that days, yet still sunny and hot but i really have hated it.
What the hell? That was my question.
while the 3re periods, when i heard them talk about ********* i felt so idiot!
I decided to go in Australia instead of SF or whatever. -___-' dunno y.
tomorrow 'll be better but not really cose, i won't get to go at the party.
TIRED
- Location:in the garden
- Mood: tired of everything
- Music:anberlin - feel good drag
I love to feel there's always more that I need.
That day is sunny but weary. Let's talk about my father that time.
This morning he's gone to Holland, again he's gone. But more days are conssumed more i don't know him. I can't pretend anymore he's not hurting me. He's never at home, i know he works to keep us in the happiness but why I'm not happy then?
I remember that day, that day is my last birthday. Failed up. Who's her? why did she txt him?
Dude i wanna scream, hell, cry, hit him. Yeahh dad i know, i know about all.
He's gone with her. maybe with them? Who knows? He might get chidrens? ...
BLASED
It's better like that. He should go somewhere and never return
life ain't easy, i would like people understand why i'm aggressive.
- Location:in the garden
- Mood: okay
4 7 2 3 9 8 5
I gotta breathe to stay alive
And 1 4 2 9 7 8
Feels like I'm gonna suffocate
-- Finally i found a place where i could write. It gonna help me to think off, take the good decisions, understand the truth as the wrong. --
let's start from Today.
I dreamt about Ugg. That's so weird because, if i'm satisfy with a dream, someone told me that i'm not supposed to remember it. Though i remember it. What does that means? It means that i'm not satisfy, but not satisfy about ugg?shoes? O.O well, maybe unconsciously i wanted an other pair of Ugg in beige ( in my dream they were beige).
Yet if i think off more deeply, it could be an allusion to pupils who laugh when they look at my ugg, or asked me if I got them in the North Pole? surely it can be that point of view because A-C like spending her time to judge me. Doesn't matter.
- Location:siting room
- Mood: good
